Now and Always
by kyrilu
Summary: A collection of oneshots. It's about how Mello and Near both felt about each other. Not really stories, more like poems or reflections.
1. Now and Always

A/N: Collection of Near x Mello one shots! Angst – yay!!!! Plz review!

Story 1: Now and Always – Mello's POV

Near, I hate you.

I hate you.

Yet I could never bring myself to ever kill you.

Is it because I want to beat you at your own game?

No….I've been "unfair" at times – blackmailing, killing, kidnapping…

And intending to do my worst.

I hate you.

Of all people, you ought to know that.

I still couldn't kill you.

I wonder if all this time, did I really hate you?

I've always thought I did. And that it would easy, too easy, to kill you.

But you…were different.

Your icy demeanor, your cool attitude, your brilliance - leaves me trailing behind you, never being able to catch up…

Why does it feel so lonely?

But I've already chosen my path.

Even now and always, nonetheless and nevertheless…

I'll go my own way. And I'll get closer to you. I'll win.

I'll struggle and pull ahead. I'll do anything to beat you.

Maybe one day you'll be able to accept me. You'll truly notice me.

So I'll keep pushing ahead. I'll try to be the best.

For now and always.

I hate you. But why do those words feel so wrong?

A/N: Stick around to read the other chapters!


	2. Emotions

A/N: Another one! Plz review!

Story 2: Emotions – Near's POV

Emotions are a weakness.

They take control of one's actions, one's decisions.

Emotions, when expressed, are nuisances that distract oneself.

That is what I formerly believed until I met Mello.

Emotions weren't all disturbances or obstacles.

They could be strength.

They made up who he was.

They were his power.

They kindled his recklessness and sudden, but necessary actions.

I cannot do anything, I cannot react fast enough.

I cannot take actions, to make choices once they are needed.

But Mello can.

No.

Mello could.

Because he's dead.

Killed.

Gone. Never coming back.

It hurts.

He left me.

It hurts.

This is the first time I've ever felt this way about someone.

I'm all alone now.

Mello -

Did I ever love you?


	3. Why Do I Feel Like Crying?

A/N: Something I came up with on a whim.

Story 3: Why?

Near's POV

Farewell, Mello.

You've left Wammy's to carry out your ambitions.

So suddenly.

All to avenge L.

Farewell.

You've refused to work with me.

You've left me to be alone, and all I see is your fading back.

You won't turn around to look at me.

You won't turn around to speak a single word of farewell.

But that's you, Mello.

You want to become number one.

You do anything to win.

And you'd still never turn around to me to say goodbye.

But that's you, Mello.

I know how you are.

So why?

Why do I feel like crying?

No, I shall not shed a single tear.

I'll cover up my heart and emotions.

I'll catch up to you.

I know we'll meet again.

But still…

Why?

Why do I feel like crying?

Mello's POV

I'll avenge L.

I'll destroy Kira.

I'll do anything and use any means necessary.

That's why I won't to look back as I leave my home.

I won't work with Near.

I'll be the best, all on my own.

That's why I walk away from Wammy's without looking behind me.

I look forward to what I'll achieve ahead.

I won't go back on my decision.

I promise.

I'll avenge L.

I'll be the winner.

But why?

Why do I feel like crying?


	4. I'll Wait For You

Story 4: Wait

Near's POV

_ "Light Yagami, you are Kira." I'd spoke the words confidently, because I knew. I knew. "You're wrong. It's all thanks to Mello…."_

I remember, at that moment, it felt like Mello was right there. He was watching.

"Remember me, alright?"

He was there, his voice was speaking.

"Remember me, Near, because I won."

Damn my thoughts of Mello. Of dramatic, temperamental Mello. Of reckless, passionate Mello. I couldn't help remembering him, couldn't stop thinking of him.

I killed him. I used him to win. I used him to become the victor…and he, dead, was the loser. In a way, of course…he helped me, an action I'm sure he'd regret if he was alive today.

"_I'm not just a tool for you to use in order to solve your puzzles…"_

And he knew, too. We'd try to use each other. We'd do anything to win. Yet he still respected me. Yet his eyes would also follow me. Yet he would watch me, he would do his utmost to defeat me.

"…_I'll wait for you there."_

Me too, Mello.

I'll wait for you even now.

A/N: It sucks, eh? It only took like a couple of minutes to type up. Very random…how come I don't have any reviews ?


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